Time with my (big) man

I am eager for tomorrow, it is my second 'special' day with my boy...

We decided a while back that the kids could do with some extra individual Mummy time. Presented with this realisation we set about working on the logistics. Wednesday is Master four's day.

We still have 'the baby' but its not all about him on our day. Last week we spoilt ourselves with a hot chocolate all to ones self and then a bike ride unencumbered by cries of 'my legs can't walk and I tired'. The whole day was a treat... So we have been quietly exchanging knowing looks waiting for our next adventure which at present involves a trip to an infamous indoor play centre. the thought of it fills me both with love (for the squeals of joy it will produce) and terror (about the inevitably high volume of similarly squealing children in one poorly sound proofed space).

Handprints to remember

It's silent and I know that I will be weary in the morning but some times it just takes time to wind down... Time, such a commodity. Today was an emotional day. We swam, as we do on a Saturday. Miss three had a her first lesson last week. This week after a moment of contemplation she happily slid into the water to her very fabulous teacher, on her own without any request for me to accompany her. I was full of pride for my little lady and her thirst for life.

Then drawn by the warmth of the sun and my depth of belief in the cause we headed to the Cancer Council fundraiser Relay for Life in Centennial Park. And while the kids bounced on the jumping castle and collected show bags from the police stall we chatted and shared food with friends to remember the loved ones that had been lost from among us. My loss is not new, like my friend's. Still as the kids dipped their hands in paint one by one and carefully placed them on the canvas of remembrance something stirred in me. My voice was shaky as I asked if I could do a print of Hubba bubba's hand. I quietly willed my mum to watch and enjoy the moment.

As we drove home I told husband that the thing I find hardest is that the kids will not have memories of their Grandma Inara. They will know about her, feel the tenderness in my telling of her but she will not be a physical person in their growing lives.

This was the meaning I made of the tears I cried. And they caused me to hold the kids one by one purposefully tonight and hug husband just a moment longer than normal.

Words

Miss Seven had to complete a writing exercise titled noun groups where she had to use two adjectives that matched a noun.  It made me think about words to describe my goals for our home and our family for the future (I know a slight leap but are you surprised?) 

Honest
Inclusive
Nurturing
Welcoming
Corageous
Extravagant (not to be confused with wasteful)
Safe
Comfortable (not to be confused with complacent)
Active
Creative and....
Engaging 

Just some descriptives

The back step

I am sitting on our back step... A sanctuary I adopt in the cooler months. The sun is flooding past the neighbours roof and warming my soul. There is a vast discrepancy between the temperature in the house and the one outside. With the sun comes waves of gratefulness. I have not written a lot lately which is unwise for me as writing is my catalyst for reflection, for dreaming, for change and for positivity. So today I am back and I am thankful.

That place in Flemington

The dishwasher is clattering towards a clean load of dishes I have found a 'sugar free mum' recipe I am hoping will divert my growing chocolate craving. Brownies with a secret ingredient. I guess my baking urge is really just the hangover from our family sojourn to Flemington markets yesterday.

After devouring plates of Crispy skin chicken, lemongrass beef and salt and pepper squid at a Vietnamese restaurant that I sadly can only identify as 'the place next to' Pho 97 we head round past the renown bakery serving red bean filled donut like balls, to the markets.

Eric and I are both gob smacked by how cheap everything is. (No really I made sweet potato and white bean fritters tonight with a salsa salad and the whole meal cost me $6! Not per head, in total).

We all loved the market experience, Eric and I have childhood memories of our trips with parents down these bustling aisles, so there was a healthy amount of reminiscing about some fun and crazy moments.

The kids also had their share of fun. Miss seven loves the cheap nail polish and the even cheaper lollies. Master four and the goo, win the hearts of all the stall holders being offer Fuji fruit, mandarins and plums at every turn. Definitely on the cards again. And I'll tell all about these brownies soon. X

Zambezia at the Ritz

Very fun... Totally not Disney nor Pixar and an added sense of achievement that with a mixed bag of diversions I was able to keep my almost 9 month old awake and content through it. Produced in South African with the notable credit at the end to Samuel L Jackson; Adventures in Zambezia was a very G rated feel good flick that made our ANZAC afternoon at our favourite old school cinema really enjoyable. Definitely a crowd pleaser with our preschool aged crew.

I choose you

I don't love you in spite of your cheekiness... I love you because of it. I don't love you in spite of your incessant mimicking of everything we say...I love you because of it. It's not in spite of what seems an in aptitude to listen when I ask you not to drag Hubba bubba clumsily down the hallway to join your game of tent building, its because of it. It is you that I love my babies, even when I am close to bubbling over with frustration, even when I do. In the quietness of reflection it is you I choose. Each of you.